This isn’t the post I was planning to write this weekend. I planned to write a piece on my experiences during my first kidding season. Sometimes, plans change.
Friday evening, I received a call from my mom. When the conversation started out with, “You better sit down…” and “I don’t even know how to tell you this…”, my body froze. The next words that came out of her mouth were, “There was a horrible car accident. Tito and Tita are gone.”
After that, I don’t remember what she said. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. What? No, I heard that wrong. But I hadn’t. It was true. A head on collision took the lives of two of my family members.
Then, the guilt flooded my brain. Between Covid, running my farm, and my two other businesses, I hadn’t been to visit. I always thought I would go “soon”. Well, there is no more “soon”. Time is up.
That night, I tried to sleep, but I woke up almost every hour. My first thought when my eyes opened each time, “Did I dream that?” As the answer came, tears poured down my cheeks, and I cried until I drifted back to sleep. Only to repeat it again the next hour.
Like usual, the alarm went off at 6:00 am. I did not want to get up. I did not want to move. I wanted to stay in bed cuddling my dogs and pretend that the outside world didn’t exist. But that was not an option. I run a farm.
The rooster was crowing, and the goats were yelling for breakfast. With a heavy heart, I decided that today was about putting one foot in front of the other. Getting done what needed to get done, one chore at a time.
I made it through that day. Animals have an uncanny way of knowing when you need them. My livestock guardian dogs clung to my side, my llama gave extra kisses, and with every task I completed, there was one furry creature or another standing by my side.
And so I will make it through all of the coming days as my heart grieves for two amazing human beings that will be terribly missed. Each day, I will just put one foot in front of the other.
Like all things in life, there are lessons to be learned… well, in this case, reminded of. Don’t waste the days you are given on things that do not matter or do not bring you happiness. Take the chances, so what if you fail. Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you and how much you love them. Don’t wait until tomorrow for anything.
Tomorrow is not promised.
Rest in peace Tita Rosie and Tito Vince. We love you.
Tiffanie
#farmgirltough
Tiff-Thank you for sharing your story at such a difficult time.
When we lose people that we love, we want the world to stop even for just a moment and take notice of their passing.
Elizabeth 1 said, “ Grief never ends…But if changes. It is a passage not a place to stay.Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith…it is the price of love.”
Know that we hold you and your entire family in our hearts and prayers.
Elaine M